This month we’re talking about The Lovers. I find that this is a card that is very often misunderstood. When people pull the lovers, the reaction I generally get is “ OMG! Am I going to find my soul-mate?!” to which I reply, “ Sort of…probably just not in the way you think…”
Ruled by Gemini, this card deals with themes of duality and is like a mirror. The imagery on the card is incredibly symmetrical. In the artwork, we see two naked people mirroring each other in body language with the angel Raphael hovering above them. Raphael is the angel of air. When we talk about air, we're talking about our brain chemistry, our mental capacity, our thought patterns, and our communication.
The Lovers Upright:
When we pull The Lovers upright, it’s not an omen that we’re going to find our soul-mate or fall in romantic love. I mean, those are things that can happen…but they’re just not what The Lovers are about in a direct sense.
The Lovers comes after The Hierophant in the Major Arcana. In The Hierophant, we examined what we had been taught and what we thought to be true. Then, we worked on formulating our own authentic ideas about what feels true and right and good for us. Having The Lovers follow that work presents an opportunity for us to fall in love with this new and more authentic version of ourselves.
Now here’s where it gets interesting - this particular invitation to fall in love with ourselves is going to be mirrored at us from an external source. So, I’ll use a personal example…my pup. When my pup looks at me with those lovey puppy eyes, he’s beaming love at me - love that I give to him - he’s just mirroring it right back at me - that’s The Lovers.
When we pull the lovers, the universe is sending us an invitation to look around and be present with all of the external sources that are shining our own love and positivity back at us. Enjoy it!
Additionally, I sometimes see the Lovers pop up when we have a big decision to make. Again, coming after The Hierophant and representing duality, sometimes this card will pop up when we’re being required to use that newfound knowledge/confidence/authenticity we established in the Hierophant to make an important decision towards our highest and best.
The Lovers Reversed:
When The Lovers pops up reversed, it can signify one of two things.
First, this reversal can represent a period of self-doubt or a lack of self-confidence. This is typically due to the fact that we’re totally blind or unwilling to see the love/beauty/positivity within ourselves that is being beamed at us from external sources in the world around us. This reversal indicates that we need to take some time to examine why we’re feeling so badly about ourselves or that we may need to eliminate distractions in an effort to create some room to let some of this positive messaging into our lives. Basically - we need to open our eyes to what’s being reflected at us.
Secondly, this reversal can indicate some doubt about a decision we’ve made or refusal to accept the consequences for a decision that we’ve made. Again - it all comes back to mirroring and being able to look at ourselves honestly, openly, and compassionately. If we’re not able to be honest with ourselves about who we are and why we do the things we do, we’re not going to be able to access everything that The Lovers has to offer us. So, if we’re feeling kind of yucky about a decision we’ve made, this is an opportunity to get real with ourselves about who we are, why we did what we did, and what the actual consequences were. It’s only from this place of naked honesty that we’ll be able to fully experience The Lovers.