First thing’s first. you have to believe the affirmation. Sounds obvious, I know. But studies have shown that the subconscious parts of the human brain (the parts we’re trying to reach with our affirmations) struggle to make “big leaps.” So, for instance, if you’re afraid of public speaking, don’t write the affirmation “I’m a fearless and captivating speaker.” It’s kind of like lying to yourself. Your subconscious knows this, and psychologists have shown that this can lead to something called resistant thinking, which actually makes the problem worse. Instead, choose positive and accurate language and gradually “move the needle.” In our example, an appropriate starting point might look something like “I’m dedicated to becoming more comfortable with public speaking, and I will get better with practice.” Once that feels true and comfortable as you work towards your goal and begin conquering the fear, you might decide to push further. The next affirmation might be something to the effect of, “I have interesting ideas to share, and my audience isn’t judging me as harshly as I’m judging myself.”

Try using phrasing structured like the phrases below to get you started…

I am capable of…

I can learn to…

I am working on…

I can start…

I can be aware…

I am trying…

This is important. Doing affirmations for things like winning the lottery isn’t effective. The lottery is external. It’s outside of our control. The very thing that makes affirmations effective is that they act on self-thought patterns that we have some degree of control over. We’re actually attempting to alter the neural pathways in our brains with affirmation practices. So, writing affirmations for something external simply doesn’t work.

A good way to ensure you’re writing your affirmations to target things you can control is to start with a list of things you perceive to be your most “negative” or “undesirable” qualities and work from there.

Studies have shown that speaking or writing affirmations 3-5 times a day, every single day, yields the best results. In order for our subconscious mind to override whatever thought pattern we’re trying to overcome, it needs practice and consistency.

The phrase “practice makes perfect” actually has some pretty cool science behind it. This is because learning anything new means that neurons are “talking” to one another via neural pathways. The brain is made up of billions of neurons. Incoming signals cause a listening neuron to fire, or send signals of its own. A cell fires when an electrical signal travels through it. The signal moves away from what is called the cell body, down through a long structure called an axon, communicating with other neurons. Over time, these communication pathways become more “worn” and efficient, and signals can zip through the pronounced pathways with ease.

You can think about it like clearing a path in the woods. The first time you walk the path and begin to clear branches and rocks out of the way, it would be a slow process. The path would start out narrow and inefficient. However, if you walked that path every day, it would begin to widen and become more pronounced. You would be able to travel it much more efficiently. The same is true of neural pathways. The more we do something, the deeper and more pronounced the neural pathway tied to that activity becomes. This is why it can be incredibly difficult to overcome lifelong thought patterns. They’re very familiar neural pathways in our brains, and they create automatic behaviors.

With conscious effort, we are able to change that neural pathway layout. However, it does require consistency. There’s also truth to the phrase “if you don’t use it, you lose it.” Studies have shown that when we don’t use a specific neural pathway anymore, the brain shrinks it up, kind of like the forest growing back over a path that no longer gets traveled. What we’re doing with affirmations is attempting to build a new neural pathway that helps us and shrink up an old one that isn’t so helpful.

Of course, this can be awkward in the beginning and take practice. Consistency is the key to effective affirmations. It’s like learning to write our name. At first, the task takes a lot of work in our conscious mind. We have to really think about what we’re doing. It’s a fresh neural pathway. The task takes a long time, and we’re prone to mistakes. But the more we sign our name over and over throughout our lives, it becomes automatic. The neural pathway becomes so “worn” and the signals can travel so efficiently, we become able to sign a paper without even thinking about it. The behavior becomes automatic. Science supports that it’s possible to get to this point with affirmations as well.